Saturday, June 14, 2008

Moving onward and upward

Today is a new day. I'm doing ok with everything really, we had 3 wonderful day of being pregnant, and I can't wait to do it again.

We're looking at second and third opinions, mostly to just make sure we're not missing anything and are with the best team we can be. Its not just about the doctor, the lab plays a big part. So I'm trying to suss out who the best people in Australia are. Bedside manner is nice, but results are so much more important now. Sure we have time, but how long do you keep saying that, and who's to say things won't change next year, or the year after?

Aiming for a September IVF cycle, probably still in Brisbane with Dr S, but will keep and open mind at this stage.
We came so close last time, yet about 8 months too short. Maybe it will kickstart something and my body will realise there is work to be done.

Still having moments when I'm just heartbroken, but surprisingly haven't reached the "hate the whole world" stage yet. Maybe I'll just release the hidden anger in short, random bursts. That could be interesting. But then, maybe not. Really just can't deal with pregnant women, and that's no easier right now. I suspect there will always be an element of resentment for those who haven't struggled so hard with infertility. Heck, I find myslef resenting first time IVF successfuls! How much sense does that make?? If you can get pg on your first IVF, it doesn't count as truly struggling. I guess its all just a matter of perspective.

I have some wonderful role models in the online community however - beautiful strong women, who struggle through some of the most tragic circumstances, and are still able to get up the next day to see the sun. Some have gone through very dark times, yet continue to follow their heart in this journey, others have had the strength to move on an find peace again in their lives. I think both paths require a special kind of strength.

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