BFP!!
Need I say more? It was a weak line last night when I finally built up the courage, took a couple of minutes to show, and today it was a little darker, didn't have to squint so much to see it.
****Happy-dance**** Happy-dance****
Wow. We're having a baby!
I know its still early days, there are still so many things that can go wrong, so many milestones, but I just want my moment, and I want this to be a positive experience. I'm just going to enjoy it.
So the hunger/nausea really is morning sickness, only I'm fine in the morning. Kieran is loving this, he's been teasing me for days about being pregnant, going from zero to hungry in 3 seconds. He did a 2am Maccas run after I had a call out the other night and asked me if I wanted anything. The mere thought of greasy McDonalds was enough to turn my stomach, until he put the bag in front of me in the car and I suddenly said "I'm hungry".
Wow. This is all so surreal.
Chuck and Norris rule!!
Next hurdle - beta tomorrow
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
14dpo, HPT at the ready
Well, the embies would be 14d old now. And I can make up all sorts of early pg symptoms. Sore breasts, heaviness in my uterus, even nausea (or is it hunger, I'm not sure). Problem is these could just be the progesterone/nerves combination.
I caved and bought some HPT's today. I haven't used them yet, because at 14d, they're going to be pretty accurate. Sure its possible they might not be, but who am I trying to kid, it will probably be right.
I really feel like this is a good one, and we have a real chance, but I'm so scared I'm wrong.
So I'm trying to work up to the HPT.
Maybe I'll go do some gardening.
I caved and bought some HPT's today. I haven't used them yet, because at 14d, they're going to be pretty accurate. Sure its possible they might not be, but who am I trying to kid, it will probably be right.
I really feel like this is a good one, and we have a real chance, but I'm so scared I'm wrong.
So I'm trying to work up to the HPT.
Maybe I'll go do some gardening.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Killing time
How I survived 4dp5dt:
- painted the door trim in the lounge
- folded the washing
- ironing
- filled script for more provera and progynova
- massage this morning
- mid afternoon nap
- played with dogs, took very amusing video of Lita attacking the water from the hose
- planted more beans in the garden to replace the plants Dobby ate.
I have no idea how I'll get through the next 9 or so days until beta. How many times a day can one really check the internet for pregnancy symptoms. Or what day to expect double lines on an HPT after a blastocyst transfer? I KNOW my sore nipples are just because of the heroic progesterone doses, but maybe, just maybe I’ll find that one little clue that tells me whether this one will work.
This is so mentally taxing. Maybe I can spend the next 9 days creating new lists of things to do during the 2ww. There are a few out there already, but I really don’t know how healthy some of them are. I mean, I could plan what school the twins will go to, but then, will I be devastated at the 7 week scan when its only one??
Note: still in positive thinking mode right now. Did you notice that?? Still assuming there will be a BFP. I figure there’s probably 3 days left of that, 12dpo is usually when I hit the wall.
I remain positive the whole time, am really strong and don’t POAS before beta, and then get a ne…….nnnn…..I can’t even bring myself to say the word. If I get one of those, will it just hurt even more, or will it hurt that much anyway?
How do you “not think about it”. How is that even possible? Stay tuned for the ride people, it could get ugly.
At least I’m working tomorrow, that will kill time quite easily. Off to finish my list of things to do for the next 9 days.
Ciao.
- painted the door trim in the lounge
- folded the washing
- ironing
- filled script for more provera and progynova
- massage this morning
- mid afternoon nap
- played with dogs, took very amusing video of Lita attacking the water from the hose
- planted more beans in the garden to replace the plants Dobby ate.
I have no idea how I'll get through the next 9 or so days until beta. How many times a day can one really check the internet for pregnancy symptoms. Or what day to expect double lines on an HPT after a blastocyst transfer? I KNOW my sore nipples are just because of the heroic progesterone doses, but maybe, just maybe I’ll find that one little clue that tells me whether this one will work.
This is so mentally taxing. Maybe I can spend the next 9 days creating new lists of things to do during the 2ww. There are a few out there already, but I really don’t know how healthy some of them are. I mean, I could plan what school the twins will go to, but then, will I be devastated at the 7 week scan when its only one??
Note: still in positive thinking mode right now. Did you notice that?? Still assuming there will be a BFP. I figure there’s probably 3 days left of that, 12dpo is usually when I hit the wall.
I remain positive the whole time, am really strong and don’t POAS before beta, and then get a ne…….nnnn…..I can’t even bring myself to say the word. If I get one of those, will it just hurt even more, or will it hurt that much anyway?
How do you “not think about it”. How is that even possible? Stay tuned for the ride people, it could get ugly.
At least I’m working tomorrow, that will kill time quite easily. Off to finish my list of things to do for the next 9 days.
Ciao.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
"Chuck" and "Norris" safe and sound
Back home again from Brisbane and I am on cloud 9. Or maybe even 10. I had my scan 6 days ago, all was good to go, so we thawed 2 embies. They came through the thaw at 2 and 3 cells, and each gained an extra 1 and 2 cells respectively overnight! Wow. I was just stoked with that. We grew them on to day 5 as planned, got an update the next day to find the embryo that thawed at 2 cells had gone on to 5 cells, and the other one was chugging away and had become a morula.
I thought I was quite restrained really. I waited until we arrived in Brisbane to call for that update, not at 9am like I wanted to. So after getting the good news that both embryos were still going, and they weren't worried about the one lagging behind at all, we joked about how we could even be lucky enough to get 2 blastocysts, and how cool that would be.
Had our next update immediatly before transfer. It really would be better if the scientist could come and sit with you to give you the embryo report, before they load them into the catheter for transfer. The way it really works, giving you the update while your legs are in stirrups and your dignity back with your underwear in the change room is hardly the best for concentration.
So the next update was that we had two early blastocysts!
Maybe my eggs aren't that shoddy. Maybe they just needed a change of scenery. Maybe they just don't like being frozen at day4. Maybe, just maybe, we have a baby (or two!!) on board. Shhh.....don't say it too loud, I don't want to jinx it.
Kieran has already started thinking baby names. For twins. He has tendered a request for "Chuck" and "Norris", which was flatly denied. It is better than Vader (yes, as in Darth), Chickenhead, Doctor Lecter or the various other names he thinks up to amuse himself. Of course, his amusement comes exclusively from my reaction to these names.
So in my haste to include him, I agreed to call the embryo's Chuck and Norris. It has nothing to do with me being at all amused by the names. Really.
And nothing at all to do with the possibility of having little people beating me up from the inside in the next 8 months.
I feel so nervous and hopeful and positive all at the same time. It kind of makes me realise how hard all of this has been, because I don't remember feeling this good in a very very long time. I'm going to surround myself with positive thoughts, and happy rainbow kitten pictures for the next 11 days.
The two week wait madness begins. I figure I can hold off the crazies another 4 or 5 days, but after that its going to be tough. It will be even harder to keep away from HPT's because I feel so darned good about this one!
And I found out I passed my IVAS acupuncture exam too! YAY!! Now I just have those darned case reports to write up.
I thought I was quite restrained really. I waited until we arrived in Brisbane to call for that update, not at 9am like I wanted to. So after getting the good news that both embryos were still going, and they weren't worried about the one lagging behind at all, we joked about how we could even be lucky enough to get 2 blastocysts, and how cool that would be.
Had our next update immediatly before transfer. It really would be better if the scientist could come and sit with you to give you the embryo report, before they load them into the catheter for transfer. The way it really works, giving you the update while your legs are in stirrups and your dignity back with your underwear in the change room is hardly the best for concentration.
So the next update was that we had two early blastocysts!
Maybe my eggs aren't that shoddy. Maybe they just needed a change of scenery. Maybe they just don't like being frozen at day4. Maybe, just maybe, we have a baby (or two!!) on board. Shhh.....don't say it too loud, I don't want to jinx it.
Kieran has already started thinking baby names. For twins. He has tendered a request for "Chuck" and "Norris", which was flatly denied. It is better than Vader (yes, as in Darth), Chickenhead, Doctor Lecter or the various other names he thinks up to amuse himself. Of course, his amusement comes exclusively from my reaction to these names.
So in my haste to include him, I agreed to call the embryo's Chuck and Norris. It has nothing to do with me being at all amused by the names. Really.
And nothing at all to do with the possibility of having little people beating me up from the inside in the next 8 months.
I feel so nervous and hopeful and positive all at the same time. It kind of makes me realise how hard all of this has been, because I don't remember feeling this good in a very very long time. I'm going to surround myself with positive thoughts, and happy rainbow kitten pictures for the next 11 days.
The two week wait madness begins. I figure I can hold off the crazies another 4 or 5 days, but after that its going to be tough. It will be even harder to keep away from HPT's because I feel so darned good about this one!
And I found out I passed my IVAS acupuncture exam too! YAY!! Now I just have those darned case reports to write up.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
FET take 2
Right, I do suck at this blogging thing. I'm getting there slowly, maybe I should set a target of one a week or something.
Just had a week off work, so you'd think there would be no excuses.....but I've been painting! We finally got our act together and started painting the inside of the house. Its a slow process. You can't make these decisions too quickly.
I love the colour in the dining room (cream) but the lounge room is waiting for me to get used to it. We might have to paint one wall lighter, I think its a bit much all together.
Lita is doing great - we got the pathology back and it wasn't cancer (HUGE relief). She's now back to normal, and it was probably some kind of infection with a weirdo immune response, and we just cross our fingers it doesn't start up again.
FET was a bust last month, neither embryo survived thaw. So I'm off to Brisbane on monday to have a scan for this cycle, try again with the Brisbane embryo's. We have a romantic weekend planned in Brisbane, so if the embies don't thaw, at least it won't be a total waste. Which reminds me, I should book the dogs into the kennels.
I don't hold high hopes for these embies, but what the heck, its worth a go! And we'll do a fresh in November, maybe with PGD if none of these survive thaw, and try and get out to a blastocyst transfer I think.
Just had a week off work, so you'd think there would be no excuses.....but I've been painting! We finally got our act together and started painting the inside of the house. Its a slow process. You can't make these decisions too quickly.
I love the colour in the dining room (cream) but the lounge room is waiting for me to get used to it. We might have to paint one wall lighter, I think its a bit much all together.
Lita is doing great - we got the pathology back and it wasn't cancer (HUGE relief). She's now back to normal, and it was probably some kind of infection with a weirdo immune response, and we just cross our fingers it doesn't start up again.
FET was a bust last month, neither embryo survived thaw. So I'm off to Brisbane on monday to have a scan for this cycle, try again with the Brisbane embryo's. We have a romantic weekend planned in Brisbane, so if the embies don't thaw, at least it won't be a total waste. Which reminds me, I should book the dogs into the kennels.
I don't hold high hopes for these embies, but what the heck, its worth a go! And we'll do a fresh in November, maybe with PGD if none of these survive thaw, and try and get out to a blastocyst transfer I think.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Positive opk - FET here we come
Our FET should hopefully be sometime in the next week. I got my first positive OPK on friday, was positive still yesterday, bit stonger in the morning, and again positive last night and this morning. I can feel my ovaries tingling.
Tomorrow I'll call the clinic, tee up and ultrasound and work out when transfer will be based on that. My temps have still been low, so I don't think I've actually ovulated yet, very considerate of my ovaries to hold off until a weekday I think.
I also got in touch with an old school friend recently, found out she got married a few weeks ago, so it will be great to catch up with her again.
Its been a rough couple of weeks, really busy at work, and Lita, our youngest furbaby has been sick. I had her in at work for xrays about 2 weeks ago, checking her joints and trying to decide if we should do surgery or just hold off. A week after that I had her back in with a fever that wouldn't respond to anything. Been doing every test I can think of to try and work this out, have discussed it with 2 specialists and we're up to 3 pathologists now.
We took her to surgery to biopsy some abnormal lymph nodes in her abdomen, after they seemed to be even larger than they had been on the previous ultrasound. Since the surgery, she's been great! Still not normal, but her temperature is back down and she's actually eating again. The bad news is the pathology is likely to come back as cancer. Lymphosarcoma in a 10 month old dog. How messed up is that.
Maybe we can look at a bone marrow transplant for her! And of course it has to be at the same time as a bloody IVF cycle too!
I think if she's having a good day tomorrow, we'll take Lita to the beach and get some nice pics, and just have a good day. I have a massage booked for tomorow also - thank heavens - so I should feel much better after that too!
Tomorrow I'll call the clinic, tee up and ultrasound and work out when transfer will be based on that. My temps have still been low, so I don't think I've actually ovulated yet, very considerate of my ovaries to hold off until a weekday I think.
I also got in touch with an old school friend recently, found out she got married a few weeks ago, so it will be great to catch up with her again.
Its been a rough couple of weeks, really busy at work, and Lita, our youngest furbaby has been sick. I had her in at work for xrays about 2 weeks ago, checking her joints and trying to decide if we should do surgery or just hold off. A week after that I had her back in with a fever that wouldn't respond to anything. Been doing every test I can think of to try and work this out, have discussed it with 2 specialists and we're up to 3 pathologists now.
We took her to surgery to biopsy some abnormal lymph nodes in her abdomen, after they seemed to be even larger than they had been on the previous ultrasound. Since the surgery, she's been great! Still not normal, but her temperature is back down and she's actually eating again. The bad news is the pathology is likely to come back as cancer. Lymphosarcoma in a 10 month old dog. How messed up is that.
Maybe we can look at a bone marrow transplant for her! And of course it has to be at the same time as a bloody IVF cycle too!
I think if she's having a good day tomorrow, we'll take Lita to the beach and get some nice pics, and just have a good day. I have a massage booked for tomorow also - thank heavens - so I should feel much better after that too!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
IVAS exam
Yesterday was a long day. Very long. I was up at 5am, for a 6am flight to Brisbane, where I hired a car, drove out to Redlands, and was only 10 minutes late for the official start of my IVAS exam. Not bad really.
The exam itself - awful. Considering the 70% pass mark required, I'm really not sure if it was enough. I really did study for it, but still felt remarkably underprepared once I had the paper in front of me.
I hate multiple choice.
We had around 4 hours to complete it, and took most of that to finish the paper. Bleh.
The practical wasn't so bad, I could find all the points, but as for the functions of them, I think I made up some new ones.
I'm trying to avoid the acupuncture books still on my table that will probably confirm just how much I got wrong.
On a more positive note, I got to speak to both of the IVF doctors we've seen over the last 12 months this week, so we have some plans for the next 12 months. YAY!
We'll start with an FET on a natural cycle this month, hopefully in the next 3 weeks. I actually ovulated on day 16 last cycle - a first! I've never ovulated before day 20 on any of the cycles I've charted in the last 3 1/2 years. Totally stoked with that little development!
Fingers crossed for early ovulation this cycle too. We really don't expect these embryo's to survive thaw, so I won't be holding my breath.
Hence plans for the next one, and embryo's in Brisbane. We'll do hormone replacement for that one, head down for a lining check prior to transfer and cross our fingers.
I also talked to our Brisbane Dr about a cycle in November - so we have some plans for that one too.
My bloodwork is all good too, FSH was 6, thyroid function still all within normal.
We also have a new cat. His name is Eclipse, and his previous owner had been trying to rehome him for a little while with no luck. I actually treated him when he was just a little kitten, when we think he ate some rat poison. He actually recieved a blood transfusion from my own cat, who died last November, so when our receptionist found out about that, she had them call and talk to me and see if I wanted to take him on.
I couldn't say no, I was trying so hard not to cry during the conversation with them. He has this link to Christian, and a little bit of her inside him.
He's a very quiet cat, still settling in. He's been her about 4 weeks now and is just getting used to the big scary dogs at the back door. They have no manners and think he's a pretty cool toy so far. So far Eclipse isn't much of a snuggler, but he's not at all nasty either. And our gecko and cockroach population has taken a HUGE hit since he arrived!
The exam itself - awful. Considering the 70% pass mark required, I'm really not sure if it was enough. I really did study for it, but still felt remarkably underprepared once I had the paper in front of me.
I hate multiple choice.
We had around 4 hours to complete it, and took most of that to finish the paper. Bleh.
The practical wasn't so bad, I could find all the points, but as for the functions of them, I think I made up some new ones.
I'm trying to avoid the acupuncture books still on my table that will probably confirm just how much I got wrong.
On a more positive note, I got to speak to both of the IVF doctors we've seen over the last 12 months this week, so we have some plans for the next 12 months. YAY!
We'll start with an FET on a natural cycle this month, hopefully in the next 3 weeks. I actually ovulated on day 16 last cycle - a first! I've never ovulated before day 20 on any of the cycles I've charted in the last 3 1/2 years. Totally stoked with that little development!
Fingers crossed for early ovulation this cycle too. We really don't expect these embryo's to survive thaw, so I won't be holding my breath.
Hence plans for the next one, and embryo's in Brisbane. We'll do hormone replacement for that one, head down for a lining check prior to transfer and cross our fingers.
I also talked to our Brisbane Dr about a cycle in November - so we have some plans for that one too.
My bloodwork is all good too, FSH was 6, thyroid function still all within normal.
We also have a new cat. His name is Eclipse, and his previous owner had been trying to rehome him for a little while with no luck. I actually treated him when he was just a little kitten, when we think he ate some rat poison. He actually recieved a blood transfusion from my own cat, who died last November, so when our receptionist found out about that, she had them call and talk to me and see if I wanted to take him on.
I couldn't say no, I was trying so hard not to cry during the conversation with them. He has this link to Christian, and a little bit of her inside him.
He's a very quiet cat, still settling in. He's been her about 4 weeks now and is just getting used to the big scary dogs at the back door. They have no manners and think he's a pretty cool toy so far. So far Eclipse isn't much of a snuggler, but he's not at all nasty either. And our gecko and cockroach population has taken a HUGE hit since he arrived!
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