Thursday, January 29, 2009

Mixed news

The OB appointment was a bit of a false start last week. We were shunted into the endocrine team after waiting over an hour, then shortly after saw an obstetric registrar. Who was nice, but the OB we will be seeing was still on holidays. And it was kind of a meet and greet and "here's a form for more tests" appointment.

We went ahead with the nuchal translucency scan, I was pretty happy to pass on it, since we wouldn't be doing CVS or amniocentesis, but K was fairly keen. I was pretty much expecting to get results at our next appointment, but K nearly had a fit when I suggested that! I don't think it helped his blood pressure. Thankfully the ultrasonographer intervened and said we'd get a call if there were problems.

I was suspicous during the scan, as we didn't get a huge amount pointed out, and she spent a lot of time getting multiple measurements of bub. Not overly concerned though, there was no "OH MY STARS THIS CHILD IS A LIZARD!!" Pretty good start. Moving ok, heartbeat ok, there were 5 fingers, 2 arms, 2 legs, a brain......getting better.

The bloods finally came through on Tuesday (took their darned time!), and since we didn't get a phone call then, we thought we might be ok. I figured if we didn't get one by the end of the week, and certainly by next tuesday, we'd probably be out of the woods. Wednesday morning the phone call comes. We got your results, and you're high risk for chromosomal abnormalities. 1:100. 1% chance. Not horrendous odds, but still not what we wanted to hear, especially considering the risk for age is only 1:900. Next step would be CVS, which would need to be done in the next week. I've already decided I'm not prepared for that risk, a 1-2 % increase in miscarriage? No way. The OB was great, briefly went through our history and the multiple IVF cycles, and was completely understanding of us not being prepared for that risk.

I don't know how I'd manage if we did the test, lost the baby and it came back normal. Especially when the risk of abnormalities is lower than the risk of the test.

So K and I talked a lot yesterday, and we have moved our appointment with the OB forward to next week. Mostly so Kieran can be there for it. It was supposed to be the "big one" with booking in and the like, meeting midwives and stuff. I guess we'll discuss what to expect, the real risks, and the next ultrasound. We'll just wait until then to make any decisions, if there are problems, we'll deal with them then.

Now the initial kick in the guts has worn off, I'm feeling more positive. 1% is not so bad. The odds are actually on our side for a change. I'm frustrated that we're not able to just enjoy this pregnancy though, and look forward to scans rather than wish away the next 6 weeks to get clearer answers.

Well we can save some more and stash it away for when I'm off work I guess, but there won't be any baby shopping for at least another 2 months I think.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

2 more sleeps to go

Until we see the OB. I managed to think up a few questions, K is being completely unhelpful though, and apparently has nothing he wants to know. He obviously thinks that asking when his wife will stop being a hormonal unpredictable time bomb is not a good idea while I'm in the room.
Smart man, that one.

Q1: When should I stop work?
2: How much work is ok? What restrictions should I have? (obviously x-rays, hormone or chemo drugs are a no-no!)
3: Is it ok to get a dental scale done or not?
4: What do we do about the NT scan? Should we worry?
5: How often is it ok to ultrasound myself at work (huge anxiety reliever to see bubs jiggling away)
5: If PCOS was part of my problems, does this increase the risk for gestational diabetes? (with that whole insulin resistance thing...)
6: Is it ok to keep taking zantac for the reflux, and should I take it prophylactically or only after sypmtoms start?

And listening intently to all the other info I'm sure we'll be bombarded with!

Sleeping better this week thank heavens, last night was the exception, go figure.

Monday, January 12, 2009

I just want to sleep

I'm so tired. I can't remember the last time I had a good night's sleep. But then, I can't remember what I was doing 40 seconds ago either. My back is sore, and I realised today I'm not actually over the morning sickness, not if I haven't had enough sleep.

If anyone has any pointers for getting a solid night's sleep while pregnant, now is the time to chime in.

It is kind of comforting, because I feel like I'm in limbo at the moment. Maybe that's why I'm not sleeping well. Maybe I'm worried about work. Maybe I'm just worried. I'm having horrid dreams at the moment, which usually only happens when I'm upset about something. But the only thing I'm upset about is not getting enough sleep. Tonight, I'm going to start a sleep ritual. No chocolate before bed. A nice warm, soothing shower. A cup of herbal tea. Maybe I'll do some yoga first to work some physical exhaustion in there too.

These shorter work days are taking some of the pressure off at least. I get a break in the morning, so if its been a bad night, I can sleep in. Which is actually most nights. And I've had a few great days at work, got everything done during the day without needing to stay back late. O wonder of wonders!

I'm still apprehensive about how far to plan ahead, everything still seems so precarious. Today marked munchkins 11w milestone, so I know the further we get, the better we're doing. But I've never had the luxury of ignorance to simply assume all will go well. At the same time, I'm certainly not pessimistic, just trying to enjoy each day of this ride, for as long as I can. I feel so blessed to get this far and be feeling so good.

I feel a bit lost because some of the early symptoms like morning sickness don't seem to be as pronounced, but I'm not showing, I don't feel the baby move, and not much else has changed. I feel kind of stupid doing much else in the way of preparation. I have started clearing out all our art gear from one spare room to the office/guest room, thus creating space in what will eventually be a nursery. Hard to justify doing anything much more than spring cleaning, but at least that keeps me occupied. I also started looking into modern cloth nappies, not the white terry towelling squares we grew up with, but fitted ones. The costs look pretty good, especially since you can use them for later kids (if we were that lucky). And some of them fit from newborn (or shortly after) through to toddler. Then there is the whole environmental aspect.
I'll have some trouble convincing K of this however. He's dead keen on disposables, and they do have the advantage of convenience, so we might even use a combination.

And there I go getting ahead of myself.

I am spending more time training the dogs too. They're pretty good, but because they are just so big, I need to make sure they're used to different rules. Eclipse, well, he's a cat. And cats will be cats. He had a scare last week after leaping onto the flyscreen to catch a gecko....and going straight through. He ended up 3m up a palm tree with our two dogs leaping up to try and catch him. They're great with him as long as he doesn't start acting like a prey item or a possum.

And I finally bought a mobile phone. ALMOST made it to 31 without one. And still haven't gotten any calls on it, it really is just an emergency backup. I haven't bothered topping up the credit, as $10 might actually last me a month! I did have to text my husband to get him to put my mobile number in his contact list, the lazy bugger!

So some meditation, yoga and then attempt to sleep! 8 more sleeps until our first OB appointment. I have a handful of questions, but really don't know what I should be asking - apart from is the baby ok!