Monday, October 20, 2008

Thankfulness

Ok, after one of the women I know via IVF chat sites just had her 15 embryos accidentally destroyed rather than frozen - I'm feeling pretty thankful right now.

How you can make such a monumental blunder is escaping me right now. I would have thought before anything is destroyed its checked, double checked and then checked again. I'm horrified for her and feel ill thinking about it.

So I'm thanking my lucky stars that's never happened to me. I'm thankful that our sperm arrived safe in Sydney.

I'm especially thankful Kieran's surgery went well. The surgeon was pleased with the immediate result - you could "drive a train through his urethra" now, something my horrified husband politely declined, saying he'd rather not. He gets the catheter removed tomorrow, so tomorrow afternoon will be the real test, when he gets to test his brand new urethra out and have his first post-op wee!

Oh, don't complain about too much information.....this is an infertility blog, I have no dignity. And manners are beginning to come a close second.

I'm looking at a job with a uni.versity - its a lectur.er position, so I don't know I'd get it, but my current boss is keen to have me stay with them, and doesn't think the uni will get the cases or the staff. For once, it would be nice to have some support. My immediate boss is more supportive, and thinks it would probably suit me better, but still wants to keep me in some role.
I'm just sick of the negativity to be honest. I feel like I can't make the right decision no matter what I do.

I've never been one of those people who can bring light and joy in the midst of anything, and I feel battered and uninspired by work at the moment. I want to be re-invigorated. I want to feel excited about coming to work again.

This time, I think I'll go with my gut. My gut is telling me the uni would be great, even though it looks like there could be fallout. My head is saying there will be fallout, and I might not be cut out for it, or it might not be enough, but I could always go back to my old job later, right?

And after hearing about what I could earn as a specialist, I'm starting to consider a residency again..... but don't worry, I won't complicate matters further.

On the IVF front - we're off to Sydney in 2 weeks. I've started lucrin - just 1/2 dose, with the aim that it should supress me but not as much as previous cycles have done. Next bloods in a week, then if all good and quiet, start FSH around the 27th/28th of November.
It feels good to be back in a cycle. I really haven't thought it through to a conclusion yet - one hurdle at a time.

2 comments:

Polly Gamwich said...

What, hubby doesn't want a truck driven through there? Men are such babies!

You are too funny!! Privacy and manners are out the window and I love it!!

I think you should really consider the univ.ersity, I work at one (not as faculty, but as staff) and I love the industry ... I got out of corporate to be here and I haven't made a better decision ... no pressure though ;-)

You are so brave for heading into IVF #6, and I can't believe the news about your friend losing 15 embryos ... what a monumental loss.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, I will be keeping tabs on you ;-)

Hugs,
Polly

Panamahat said...

Destroying fifteen embryos? That's just criminal!

I really hope you can find some work that truly makes you happy, and in an environment where you can feel comfortable, supported and validated. I know your current job hasn't been much of those to you in a while now.

Wishing you the very best of good luck with the IVF #6. Lucrin is the the thing that puts me off about another IVF cycle, because when I take it, some of my joints weaken and fail, and never return to normal, and I don't know which one will be next.

Oh and by the way - no such thing as TMI in this game, so go right ahead and keep us informed on every little thing. You know we love it!!!